So I don't know how many of you are keeping up with the show Insecure on HBO, but last night's episode was GOOD. Now I don't want to give away any spoilers, but I would say that if you haven't watched this episode or have not been following the show regularly, you may want to stop reading NOW.
So this week, the mess that Issa (Issa Rae) has set up for herself finally came to a head. Dirty laundry was exposed and relationships were challenged, but I think there was a greater lesson that can be learned from this weeks episode.
So back in college I had these "friends". Yes, I put them in quotations because now, the 31 year old me would NEVER associate with these individuals. It all started with one friend who belittled me for being from a lower socioeconomic status. Then one friend made a comment about me needing to lose more weight when they already knew I had body image issues. Then there was the one friend who refused to call me by my name because she liked calling me "G-Jon" as a way to identify me as her gay friend Jon.
While watching last night's episode, I couldn't help but think back to a time that me and a friend viciously went back and forth at each other because honestly, we both had issues. And this episode proved just that for both Issa and Molly (Yvonne Orji).
See, the thing is, here is the thing: sometimes it's easier to cut someone else down before recognizing your own flaws and last night's episode gave us a great example of how this often happens in our friendships. Issa is fully aware that her life is about to tailspin out of control and the easiest thing to do is to make it seem that Molly has more issues than she does. In reality, Molly and Issa are the same person and BOTH of them need to be in counseling. Honestly, for a moment, I thought Issa was going to offer to go with Molly to see a therapist.
Not only are they searching for instant gratification in each of the relationships they aspire to have, but the suffer from what I like to think of as the "not me girl" syndrome that many of us have. You know, the struggle to accept that your life is really a HOT.ASS.MESS that you created?
Again, reflecting on my own experiences, I could see why Issa made the comment she did about Molly needed to seek counseling. But the idea that it was so pointed is what really sent Molly over the edge.
And that my friends is the point of this article.
You can make suggestions or even give advice to your friends, especially if you see them going down a path that could be potentially problematic. The real problem is when you say things or even do things just to get a rise out of someone. For some people, they thrive on this notion of being able to be the friend who says and does mean things just to get a rise out of you. Being strong enough to acknowledge that is important, but what is even more important is being able to distinguish when your friends have a good point, or are being just downright petty.
Hurt people hurt people. Period.
Though I hope things will get better for Issa and Molly, I really hope Issa can get her ish together because she isn't doing her character any favors as of now. If she keeps at the rate she's going, she's literally setting herself up to be the the Black Piper Chapman of season 2.
Watch the season finale Sunday, November 27th on HBO.